Loving the God and Goddess Taught Me to Love Myself

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As I walk around town running my errands in my short shorts, heels, and plus sized figure, I get looks from strangers staring at my hairy legs as though my legs were a personal affront to them. If I were my younger self, I would have been mortified to walk around with “unfeminine” body hair visible. The fearful thoughts of “what would others think of me” and “i look so disgusting” would have filled my head with shamefulness to be seen in “revealing clothing.” I would have ruminated on how unattractive I seemed to others, and therefore myself. These thoughts and internalizations of others’ perception led me to starve myself, develop anorexia and consequently lose my hair from the stress of it all. 

Now I barely notice the stares and looks of consternation from others as I bask in the glow of the newly emerged spring sun. My thoughts turn outward as I’m appreciating the beauty of the blooming flower, green grass and tall trees that grow in abundance all over my town. I feel gratitude for the endless blue skies and perfect 70 degree weather. 

The God and Goddess created this world and all in it. The wonders of nature reflect them. I see the Goddess in her mother form as a mother duck tends to her ducklings in the pond below. I see the God’s strength in the strong rays of sunshine which illuminate the sunny patch of grass in front of me amidst the arbor circle. I feel their warm embrace with my eyes closed to meditate. I am engulfed in Their protection and I feel love. I love the God and Goddess. I love their world and all they have created. I remember that They are a part of me and I am a part of Them. Therefore to love Them, I love myself. 

I love myself enough to present my body however I feel like. Hairy, hairless, fat, skinny, covered up, revealed.. I love myself. I let go of my stress and fill myself with contentment and gratitude.  I love the God and Goddess, everything that is Their creation and myself as a part of that creation and as a part of Them. 

Written by Gita Nallapati, AAW Member

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